Hello and welcome to the Leadership Done Right Podcast, Episode 6 – How to Develop Confidence and Influence.
How to Develop Confidence and Influence
This is one of my favorite quotes from Marianne Williamson and then later used by Nelson Mendela.
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
What is confidence?
Confidence is not arrogance. Confidence is belief in oneself and one’s powers or abilities; self-confidence; it’s self-reliance; it’s assurance. When someone has confidence, they know that they can do what it takes to be successful themselves and they can help others to be successful.
- Have confidence in:
- Your purpose
- Those who put you in your spot to do what you are doing
Why is confidence important?
Without confidence, leaders cannot reach their full potential and be successful. Peter Barron Stark spoke on confidence and said:
“Confidence is the cornerstone of leadership. You can teach a leader to be an effective problem solver; more decisive; a better communicator; how to coach, mentor and hold team members accountable; and many other fundamentals of leadership. Yet, without that leader first believing in himself or herself, true leadership will exist only in title. A leader that is technically qualified for the position, but lacks confidence, will find it difficult to lead others. As Francisco Dao says, “Self-confidence is the fundamental basis from which leadership grows. Trying to teach leadership without first building confidence is like building a house on a foundation of sand. It may have a nice coat of paint, but it is ultimately shaky at best.” (https://www.peterstark.com/role-confidence-leadership/)
Confidence creates influence. When leaders have confidence and they can influence others, they are able to create positive change through others.
How can you develop confidence?
- Gain Knowledge and experience
- Practice and experiment with what you learn
- Think positive thoughts and eliminate the negative thoughts.
- Focus on your body language
- Stand tall with your shoulders back.
- Speak loud with confidence
- Choose your words carefully — Use words that indicate surety. Eliminate words and phrases of insecurity: ums, ahs, maybe, I think, etc.
- Get as prepared as possible for every situation
- Change habits from those that lead to insecurity to habits that demonstrate confidence
- Go for regular wins
- Personal affirmations
Examples of confident leaders:
- Michael Jordan — Led his college basketball team to the national championship, his NBA team to 6 championships in 8 years, and the USA to an olympic gold medal.
- Peyton Manning — Led his team to four Super Bowls and two victories.
- Abraham Lincoln — Failed many times trying to be elected to office but continued to work hard. He knew he had a great work and responsibility to do
- Rosa Parks — Stood up for civil rights in the face of significant odds. She organized others to do the same based on her conviction.
What happens when leaders have confidence?
When leaders have confidence, they make decisions and take responsibility for their actions. They implement positive change, improve their organizations and the world in which they live. And they make life better because of their leadership.
Leaders with confidence also have an influence. Use your confidence to influence others as a leader.
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