Getting More: How You Can Negotiate To Succeed In Work And Life by Stuart Diamond is one of my favorite books. I strongly recommend this book to every leader. Stuart Diamond teaches a method of negotiation that is different from some of the more common types of negotiation of getting to yes, getting to no, or doing what it takes to make the deal. Instead, he focuses on negotiating with each person so that everyone comes away happy because they got what they wanted.
When Do You Negotiate?
Often people think negotiations only happens when people are closing a business deal, getting their client out of a jam in the courtroom, or buying a car on a car lot. Although each scenario involves negotiations, did you know you are always negotiating? Here is just a short list of examples of people/scenarios where you negotiate:
- Interactions with your
- Spouse
- Children
- Friends
- Neighbors
- Shopping
- Traveling
- Requesting Refunds
- Restaurants
- And… Pretty much anytime you have a human interaction!
The Getting More Approach
In Stuart Diamond’s approach to negotiation, he explains that “Perceptions and emotions” are more important than “power and logic.” He continues by explaining that the pictures in the heads of the other party are more important than any collection of facts, evidence or resources.
3 Key Negotiating Principles
To negotiate with these principles in mind takes a lot of self-discipline and practice. Stuart explains three important tips to keep in mind as you negotiate.
- Don’t get emotional
- Turn statements into questions
- Don’t be manipulative
Getting More Out of Each Negotiation
The key with negotiating is understanding that you will not win or get exactly what you want out of every negotiation. The key is to try to “Get More” out of every negotiation so you and the person you negotiate with come away happy. When you and the other person come away happy, everyone wins.
A Baseball Analogy
To illustrate this point, Stuart uses a baseball analogy. If you are a 280 hitter in baseball, and you get one extra hit every nine games, you become a 310 hitter in baseball. That small increase is worth a place in the Hall of Fame, and $10 million more a year.
The 12 Getting More Negotiation Strategies
The core of Stuart’s negotiation method includes these 12 strategies:
- Goals are paramount
- It’s About Them
- Emotional Payments
- Each Situation is Different
- Be Incremental
- Trade Unequally Valued Items
- Use Their Standards
- Be Transparent/Ethical
- Communicate & Frame
- Find the Real Problem
- Embrace Differences
- Make a List
When you learn and consistently implement these 12 strategies, your negotiation skills reach a whole new level. Additionally, your level of satisfaction out of life is taken to a whole new level. Rather than focusing solely on what you always want and figuring out how you can get it, you are focused on what everyone wants and how everyone can collectively get more. As a result, you in turn get more as well because everyone gets more.
Conclusion
This review only touches the surface of what is contained in this book, so I strongly recommend that you buy a copy of the book for yourself so that you can begin to get more! Here is a link for you to purchase your own copy.
Learn About Stuart Diamond – The Author of Getting More
Stuart Diamond is not only a great author, but also a very accomplished person. Here is a small sample of his accomplishments:
- Educational Background
- Law Degree from Harvard
- MBA from Wharton Business School
- Teaching/Professor Experience
- Professor of the Famed Negotiation Course at Wharton’s Business School
- Experienced in academia at Columbia, NYU, Harvard, Berkley, and more
- Professional Experience
- President of the Global Strategy Group that helps people around the world negotiate
- His techniques and tips helped end the 2008 Hollywood writer’s strike
- CEO of an airline in St. Thomas
- Pulitzer Prize winner for journalism of the New York Times
Please Share Your Thoughts
Have you read Getting More? What did you think of Getting More? What impact did it have on you and your ability to lead others? If you have read Getting More or other great negotiation books, please let me know your thoughts in the comments section below.
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