In leadership, constructive feedback is extremely valuable. Constructive feedback helps you know your strengths and weaknesses. It also identifies areas for personal improvement so you can be more effective in your leadership. Requesting constructive feedback from others also helps you to be more humble.
Request Constructive Feedback
I had a friend named Judy that rubbed people the wrong way. She did it regularly and didn’t even realize it. She thought, however, that she was great with people. She spoke condescendingly to others. Judy never asked for feedback from others on her behavior. She was completely oblivious to how others perceived her.
After a time, Judy’s behavior frustrated others and she found out the hard way. Jill, one of the employees that Judy worked with, quit her job to go back to school. As Jill was leaving, she had an exit interview with HR. She was asked what she liked and disliked about the department. Jill had nothing but negative things to say about Judy.
After the interview, HR explained to Judy everything they heard from Jill. This rocked Judy’s world. She felt horrible. Hearing the results even brought her to tears. Afterwards, she felt angry and then humbled enough to change her behavior.
Lessons on Constructive Feedback
Judy received constructive feedback the hard way. She hadn’t requested it and wasn’t ready for it. Had Judy requested constructive feedback on her own, she wouldn’t have found out the hard way through HR. What lessons can we learn?
1. Prepare yourself for constructive feedback.
Constructive feedback isn’t always easy to hear. Sometimes it even hurts. When requesting constructive feedback, be prepared to listen with an open mind. Something in your behavior led the person to feel the way they feel.
2. Schedule the constructive feedback.
When you request constructive feedback, set up an appointment with the person in advance. This gives the person time to observe you and think about how your interactions with others. They will then be able to give you constructive feedback that you can use to change your behavior.
3. Create the right setting for constructive feedback.
There are good and bad settings to ask for constructive feedback. When you set up the appointment, schedule a place where you can be alone with the other person. Make sure you won’t be interrupted or disturbed. This will enable you and the other person to be more open in your conversation.
4. Set a time limit.
A time limit forces you and the other person to stay on topic. It also helps you get a manageable amount of feedback you can take away and work on. Without a time limit, the other person could ramble about your positives or negatives making it difficult to know where to start your improvement.
5. Take notes.
By taking notes as you receive constructive feedback, you are able to stay more focused and objective. In addition, after the meeting you can review your notes and identify what you can do to effectively use the feedback.
With constructive feedback in mind, I prepared a brief 10 question survey to see what you think of Leadership Done Right. I want to improve the quality and frequency of posts to meet your needs. I’d really appreciate it if you would take the time to fill out the survey. I value your feedback and will make changes based on the results. When you take the survey you are completely anonymous unless you choose not to be.
How do you ask for feedback? What do you recommend as the best ways to request feedback? Please share your thoughts in the comments section below!
This is such an important aspect to becoming a better person and leader. I have found asking a trustworthy person who has my best interest in mind important when it comes to getting open and honest feedback from them. Great post!
Dan,
I completely agree with you. When requesting feedback, it is important that you ask someone that will give you honest and genuine feedback. The benefits of that type of feedback are great because it allows you to become a better leader quickly.
Feedback is only constructive when it’s given by the right person. There are times when your manager is the wrong person to give you feedback. There are way too many people who are so biased in their feedback that if you were to apply it to yourself — you will fail — and you will fail big. Some feel that their way, their path, their ideology is the best way to go. So they will indoctrinate you into it, forcing you to work against your strengths and against your basic nature.
Consider the feedback you give to people. Then consider your biases. Factor those out before you give anybody advice or criticism. Our firm uses an approach to help people temporarily suspend their biases. Regretfully, many of our clients do not offer incentives to their employees to make this suspension permanent.